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Very Like a Whale
Very Like a Whale
by Ogden Nash
by Ogden Nash




One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
One thing that literature would be greatly the better for


Would be a more restricted employment by the authors of simile and  
Would be a more restricted employment by the authors of simile and metaphor.


Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts,
Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts,


Can't seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but have  
Can't seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but have to


go out of their way to say that it is like something  
go out of their way to say that it is like something  




What does it mean when we are told
What does it mean when we are told


That that Assyrian came down like a wolf on the  
That that Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold? 


In the first place, George Gordon Byron had enough experience
In the first place, George Gordon Byron had enough experience
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Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,
 
Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,  


Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold?
Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold?
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Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof Woof?
Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof Woof?




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But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them,
But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them,


With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in  
With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
gold and purple ate them.
 


That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets, from Homer to Tennyson;
That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets, from Homer to Tennyson;
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What I mean by too much metaphor and simile.  
What I mean by too much metaphor and simile.  
== See Also ==
== See Also ==
* [[Byron: The Destruction of Sennacherib]]
* [[Byron: The Destruction of Sennacherib]]